“Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.” JOHN 8:12

Absolutely beautiful day here, the sun shining, the remaining leaves that have held for dear life through the storms, and cold nights as beautiful as ever, the sun illuminating their golden hues of red, yellow, and burgundy- bronze refusing death, refusing to fall as long as they can hang on.

The seasons of our lives are much the same, we have beautiful spring seasons when we are young and all is well, life is good and everything in in bud and that sun shines as new ventures and new life emerges.

We have seasons of summer when life is in full bloom, often newly married, in careers, our children playing, family expanding, dinners and holidays eagerly awaited events.

The we have the autumn seasons, age is not always a factor, autumn comes to us all, regardless of being young or old, rich or poor, saved or unsaved.

Those seasons of change, seasons of death, whether physical loss of loved ones or death of a dream, death of a career, death of a friendship, changes that make it really hard to see and most of all believe that the sun really does still shine, and that autumn will pass in its own due time.

Spiritual autumns can be particularly hard to navigate, we find ourselves longing for the days of spring and summer when all was well, all was beautiful.

We have the dread of the winter ahead, the season of working through not only the death of those beautiful leaves but the sparse growth, as not much grows in winter seasons and more darkness that inevitably comes with the seasonal loss of light.

Often in our desperation we tend to want to run back to the familiar, the comfortable, our own personal default mode, we have very different defaults and we all also face very different temptations.

For some it’s the temptation to fall back into familiar arms, for some it is the temptation of using drugs or alcohol to dull the pain, for others it may gambling, therapy shopping, and even the temptation to walk away altogether. 

These temptations and feelings blindside us at the most vulnerable times in life.

When we are suffering, and we are definitely not expecting another battle to have to be fought.

In my own life, I learned much of this when I lost my mother, I suffered such a cruel personal attack, that I can honestly tell you that I have never been so hurt in my entire life.

Through their hatred, which I didn’t even understand the reasoning behind, I couldn’t even grieve in peace, many were turned completely against me and only Jesus himself knew the damage that was caused and only Jesus carried me through that awful time.

And even as dark as it became and, in my hurt, and my anger, Jesus never failed to shine his light.

When my defaults were kicking in, wanting to run to the familiar and so far away from the pain, Jesus still shined that light, showing me a better path.

I was blessed with a pastor who would listen and accept me in my pain for exactly what I was and am a human being with a heart, and feelings, sometimes those feeling are pain, anger, and grief.  

Feelings that are not always accepted in a church setting, as some would have people to believe that if you are not always Sister Sunshine or Brother Bliss that you are just “not right” with the Lord and that is absolutely not true.

If it were, the Bible would be a considerably smaller book, they all cried out their pain to God, Hagar, Moses, Ruth, David, Job and Jeremiah both expressing feeling so dark that in that moment of sorrow they wished that had never been born.

The prophet Elijah requesting death and the list could go on and on.

We were not given the accounts of these people to their shame, to scoff, and mock that, “Well, if they had been right with the Lord…”

No, they were right with the Lord, they were being human and being saved is never going to prevent us from being just that.

My pastor listened and I knew I could tell him anything and I would not be chastised and maligned, and ridiculed but that I would be understood and prayed for and have someone stand in that gap for me while I was too weak to stand on my own.

All through the Bible, this is exactly what God does, he delivered every single person in those accounts, every one of them, Hagar twice.

He came to her aide when she was at the lowest of low and rock bottom is too light a term, can you imagine having a child and just being sent off with a flask of water into the desert to find your way back to Egypt?

No, and she couldn’t either, she just begged to not have to watch her son die and God answered those cries.

He is our light and when we want to run back into that darkness and just sit and hide a little while, he is still that light, but we have to stay in his light.

Darkness, while it may seem to hide us from the world, as the tears flow, will only snare you, trap you, and will attempt to hold you there forever, keeping you from ever finding the light and that path again.

That is the agenda of the darkness.

That is the purpose of temptations.

That is not the will, plan or purpose of God for anyone’s life.

As we follow Jesus, through the autumn seasons, into those winter months, know that in his light there is hope and there is restoration.

There is change and that dreaded winter season that follows autumn with the horrifying thoughts of driving snow, freezing temperatures, and an ice-covered barren wasteland does not have to be so dreaded. 

Because God can change our perspective, if we allow him.

He can change that winter season altogether and he can give us the brisk awakening of our deadened hope, and through the lens of his light, we can see the wonder of the sparkle of that driving snow and that barren wasteland can with the coming spring become a new a field to be planted with the beautiful blooms of the next season in the story of our lives.

Don’t give up on it, even when we can’t see past the road quite yet, he can, and he is already there, just stay in that light, as he has promised, when we follow him and walk in his light, we will not walk in darkness but have the light of life and life is made up of many seasons, many changes, but the eternal hope of beauty, peace, and joy in the end is something that will never change.

Blessings to you today, Nina

NBJ Sword&Lily 2024/Rev. N Brown Johnson