Mark 10:2-9: “And the Pharisees came to him, and asked him, Is it lawful for a man to put away (divorce) his wife? tempting him (trying to test him)

And he answered and said unto them, What did Moses command you?

And they said, Moses suffered (permitted) to write a bill of divorcement, and to put her away.

And Jesus answered and said unto them, For the hardness of your heart he wrote you this precept.

But from the beginning the creation God made them male and female.

For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;

And they twain (two) shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh. What God therefore hath joined together let no man put asunder (divide).”

Tomorrow is Saint Valentine’s Day, so what a perfect time to think about romance, love, marriage and all that jazz.

I wanted to start with that passage as it holds the key, please notice that Jesus said that option of divorce was given by Moses because of the hardness of the heart of man,

Was never God’s idea concerning relationships.

Many thoughts that have been falsely portrayed as Christian are not and have no scriptural basis whatsoever.

And have been generally used to keep women away from the best relationship of their life and that is a relationship with Jesus.

The Bible is the Word of God, the Bible contains the instruction for our lives and is truly a handbook for life, the Bible is also a history from creation and chronicling the Hebrews through the time of the Apostles just after the crucifixion and resurrection of Christ and teaching for the church and for us the future church.

In all history there are people who have good ideas and some with really bad ideas and humans being human make mistakes.

Many of the Bible accounts are just that, the accounts of people, families, kings, kingdoms all being human and sometimes making dreadful mistakes and learning from those mistakes and teaching us through those accounts so that we do not fall in the same trap and we learn to trust God as he delivered them he will deliver us from our situations if we trust in him.

That is what irks me the most, those who pick a verse, often for argument and many not even saved will run with it to try to dissuade others against true Christianity.

To understand the word requires a relationship actually with God and to preach requires being called and anointed of God for that task and everything else is just that, men reading words that they do not understand because they must be understood spiritually and God and God alone must give revelation for that understanding.

Wives were never to be subservient to husbands and husbands were never to meant to lord over wives and mistreat and abuse them or vice versa.

As he said, two are to become one.

One is singular, one cannot be above itself nor below itself, it is a single unit.

In two becoming one there is no possibility for preeminence.

It’s like the age-old deal with having multiple wives, I never understood that. I was always like. Why can men have all these wives?

No one could tell me and now I know that that was also a man-made concept.

All the bad ideas humans have and because these people are recorded in the Bible other people take that as what they should do when actually it is what they should not do.

This goes back so far that it was before Noah, before Abraham, or Moses, back to the fourth chapter in the first Book of the Bible.

One guy named Lamech started the custom of multiple wives.

He was the son of Methuselah and the father of Noah.

This is the verse and just one simple verse that tells us where and who started this:

Genesis 4:19: ‘ And Lamech took unto him two wives: the name of one was Adah, and the name of the other Zillah.”

I always include him in any relationship post I write because there are so many misconceptions concerning God and human actions.

We have the history and we have what Jesus taught; I don’t think there is a question concerning which is the best authority concerning the correct behavior for us.

There is no doubt that all relationships require work, as the old saying, “Anything worth having is worth fighting for” and that is the truest in marriage.

I do not mean bad marriages; no one should ever tolerate abuse or mistreatment.

Jesus was beaten unmercifully beyond recognition, why would he suffer that for all mankind to take our place if his will was for us to spend our lives beaten by someone else?

That is not love that is bondage and many women in generations past were subjected to such because they had been taught that and it is absolutely heart breaking.

We’ll take a look at a few verses concerning our relationships one to another, the differences in how we relate that and what God’s word says about our relationships.

Men have baffled women for ages and women have baffled men, sometimes we both feel like we are the last thing on each other’s minds and that no one would notice if the other suddenly disappeared but that is not always the case, we all feel things a little different and communicating that is not always easy.

The best description of a man’s love to his wife is Uriah, I’ll break it down, king David slept with his wife and then pretty much had him killed in battle, which again, is an account of humans having really bad ideas sometimes.

God sent Nathan the prophet to David concerning his actions, Nathan used an allegory to make David realize what exactly he had done, and it is so beautifully worded, reading between the lines, it reveals the heart of Uriah, and I will admit when God enlightened me to it, it broke my heart.

Not only did he love her, but he also cherished her and that is not a passing emotion, it’s not attraction based, carnal, or sexual it was his very heart he adored her, her being and she was everything to him whereas to David, she was the object of his sexual desires.

The love Jesus is referring to is Cherish, cherish literally means protect, care for, treasure, prize, and to do so with gentleness and tenderness, nurture, to hold dear, to keep with care and affection.

Proverbs 18:22: ” Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord.”

Colossians 3:19-21: “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them (do not be hateful to them).”

Ephesians 5:25: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church, and gave himself for it.“

Ephesians 5:33: ” Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself: and that the wife see that she reverence (respects) her husband.”

This is a big one, it reveals why harshly treating spouses will hinder prayers.

Malachi 2:13-14: ” And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more or receiveth it with good will at your hand (from you)

Yet ye say, Wherefore (why)? Because the LORD hath been witness between thee (you) and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: (treated terribly): yet is she thy companion, and they wife of thy covenant.

And did he not make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore (the reason for) one? That he might seek a godly seed (offspring) .

Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away (hates divorce):

For one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed that ye not deal treacherously.”

It is literally saying that they do not understand the problem with their walk with God, but the problem is how their wives are being treated, God sees and he does not like it, I do believe that would also apply to how we treat our husbands.

I think that one says all there is to say about how God expects men to treat their wives, and this one really makes me think about women who marry young and have children and dedicate their lives to family and then their husbands decide when they are sixty years old that they want to leave her and marry a twenty year old.

That can also apply to women, a woman dumping her husband because she is bored with him, but we see how God feels about all of it.

Dealing treacherously covers many things, just treating them bad, betraying trust, being a basic jerk.

Being a jerk can go both ways:

Proverbs 21:9:”It is better to dwell (live) in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.”

Proverbs 31: 11: “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.“

Proverbs 31:28: ” Her children shall arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.”

1 Peter 3:7: ” Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife as the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers not be hindered.”

That does not mean that women are weak and helpless, that means that husbands are supposed to honor their wives and be protective and tender, kind, gentle and mild in their treatment of them.

Cherishing each other goes hand in hand.

If we truly love someone, even though we may get snappy, cranky, and harpy we will realize that there is nothing quite like the pain in our own heart when we have hurt the heart of those we love, we will ask forgiveness and do better.

And what better time than now to let your spouse know that you love them even if you are in the middle of a difficult season, they are the other half of you and that is a spiritual bond and everything that affects one does affect the other also, even if you don’t always feel it, you are one.

Ask the Lord for his blessing on your relationship, he can make us remember why we feel in love in the first place, years and life and health take their toll and it’s never about who is wrong or who is right, it’s about getting down to the heart of what is worth saving and what is worth a rekindle, nothing is impossible with God and he specializes in repairs and renewals.

I know this, my husband truly deserves a medal of honor for his years of dealing with me, he has had the patience of a saint with me and he’s not perfect either none of us are, he’s had his days of getting on my last nerve.

That is what real marriage is, it is work, it is comprise but the love between spouses is something to be cherished as he wants us to cherish each other.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Love & Peace till next time!

Φλογιζω NBJ 2026/ Rev N Brown Johnson